Quite why they had decided that I would be suitable material as a door to door salesman for beauty products I don't know. Apparently some guru in marketing had come up with the idea. He said that the stunning girls who usually sold such things might put some women off. That flattery from a man would be more effective. Anyway when my job in accounts was made redundant I was offered this as an alternative. I couldn't turn it down, there weren't many jobs in expenses control with modern computerisation.
I knew the girls by name, if not by sight. I'd been dealing with their expenses for years. I was always having to pull them up on something. They seemed to think they could buy drinks on expenses for a start. They tried to wheedle me, but I know how to stay firm. There was no way those girls could get me to do anything I didn't want to do. Sometimes they had to wait over a week before they got them paid! And some mighty funny ones there had been. I had queried Monica's receipt for a Mark II Fanny Tickler, but she had explained that it was to enable her to demonstrate special female products to the customers. I didn't ask for any further clarification, to be honest I didn't want to know. Then Tracey had submitted a receipt for full body spray tan, waxing and intimate bleaching. I had queried that forcefully, but had had to back down when she offered to show me the result.
That was after I'd been offered the new job. She'd said that all the reps had to have it done. It was company policy. I didn't want to do it, but well, if everybody had it done. It was embarrassing enough getting it done in the first place. Young chit of a girl at the salon! I had to take all my clothes off while she sprayed me down and then - well talk about embarrassing - I hadn't realised what was going to be bleached. I mean the girl said everyone was having it done, but who's going to see there! I mean it's not as if I was going to be displaying that to all the girls! Anyway when I put the claim in it was turned down! I'd just claimed for the tan as well. Far too embarrassing to claim for the other things. My new boss just laughed, she said the girls had been having me on.
So there I was, tanned and a bit of a laughing stock among the girls; from their giggles they must have known what else I'd had done. Mind you they were all tanned as well, so I bet they'd all had the treatment!
And I was at the annual training course on how to persuade the female populace to buy our wonderful products.
"Persuading the Customer". That was the name of the course. It was all pretty tedious stuff I'm telling you, until it got to the end of the day. We had a late addition to the course. A lady called Veronica who was apparently going to demonstrate how you could make somebody do something they really wouldn't want to do.
"Can I have a volunteer for this demonstration," she asked.
Well, nobody can get me to anything I don't want to do. Nobody was able to get stupid expenses claims past me! Not for at least a week, or a few days, at any rate. Not that I was going to volunteer. I certainly didn't want to be any sort of guinea pig, Tracey would volunteer, she was a right show-off.
But nobody moved. Veronica looked straight at me.
"You look the sort that can be easily persuaded," she said.
"Not me," I replied, "you'll not get me to do anything I don't want to do."
"Well in that case you won't mind volunteering."
"I think you are worried you'll be made to do something you don't want to do."
"Not at all."
"Then what are you afraid of?"
"Then you'll volunteer. Well done. A round of applause for our volunteer ladies!"
"Yes... Well... Of course... If you put it like that..."
"So there we are. He's just agreed to do something he didn't want to do. Men! So easily manipulated! Now if you'll just wait outside the room and I'll explain to the girls what's going to happen."
So there I had to sit, listening to muted voices interrupted with guffaws of laughter. Whatever it was she was planning she was making it sound funny.
So I was a bit nervous when I went back in. The girls were all looking sort of expectant. What was I going to have to do?
"Right," said Veronica, "I'm going to teach you how to juggle."
Teach me how to juggle. What had that got to do with the price of tea in China! How stupid. I had no problem in being taught how to juggle.
She handed me three juggling balls.
"What do I do with these?"
"Juggle with them of course."
"I thought people juggled with just two balls."
"Well that just shows how wrong you can be. It's much easier to juggle with three. They take longer to go up and down. But you still need to concentrate. A lot! Because if you get to complete the task at the end the girls are going to get a big treat and you wouldn't want to let them down would you? Can you concentrate?"
"Of course. I'll not let anybody down."
"That's what I thought. You look to me like a quick learner. And you're going to have to be if the girls are going to get their treat. Do you think he can do it girls?"
"Not a chance," somebody said to loud guffaws.
Not a chance eh? Well I'd show them. If they were relying on me I wouldn't be letting them down.
"Right. This what you do. Just follow me. Hold two balls in the left hand and one in the right hand. Toss up one in the left hand," I followed her exactly, "and when it is at the top of the throw, throw up the one in the right hand like this, and when that reaches the top throw up the remaining one in the left hand, and just keep tossing. On in the left, one in the right and one in the air at all times."
It looked easy when she did it but my balls went all over the place. It took five minutes before with total concentration I could get all three going at the same time. It was good. I was really proud of myself. As long as I concentrated completely I could keep it going.
"I think he's got it girls. He's really got the knack. See. I told you you were a quick learner. I think the girls are going to get their treat after all. Are you willing to do the next part of the task so the girls will get their treat. They're relying on you. You won't let them down will you?"
"No way," I said, proud of my newly acquired juggling skills.
"Right. For this task you need to put on your jugglers' costume."
"Your costume. These."
And she held up a pair of brief gold lamé panties.
"I can't wear those."
"Why ever not?"
"Well they're... Well... Rather brief."
"Well that's what jugglers wear. You're not shy are you? I think you'd look good in them. Wouldn't he look good in them girls?" A big cry of assent went up. "I mean your not shy about wearing a bathing costume at the pool are you?"
"Of course not."
"And you think you look good in a costume. Slim manly figure?"
"So? What are you waiting for?"
I had thought I could keep my underpants on underneath, that that woukd disguise any unfortunate bulge. Then I looked at the panties. They were very brief, not quite a thong, but not much better. Wearing those was going to be embarrassing to say the least
"I mean..." It was more than a bit embarrassing to tell the truth, but I thought of a way out. "There's nowhere for me to get changed," I said.
"That's no problem," she said, "you can get changed in the Ladies room."
"Through that door. It's quite private."
The trouble is when you try to get out of something with an excuse and the excuse is knocked on the head. There's nowhere to go. Except into the Ladies that is.
"But... Well, they're rather brief."
"But you said you weren't shy. You're not going to let everyone down just out of silly modesty are you?"
"Good. Give him a round of applause girls."
So I crept into the Ladies. The costume was even briefer than I had thought. How had I ever thought I could keep my underwear on. They were very brief and they were very tight. I looked in the mirror. At least I was nicely tanned. But there was a distinct bulge at the front and not for the first time in my life I wished mine weren't quite so big.
I crept out into the hall. There was a big gasp.
"Oh dear," said Veronica, "you do look embarrassed. Are you embarrassed?"
"Um... Well..." I didn't like to admit to it.
"You're really embarrassed aren't you?"
"And you look as if you really don't want to do this."
"You see girls. We've made him do something really embarrassing that he didn't want to do. And it was really easy wasn't it."
She handed me back the juggling balls.
"Now let's see if we can embarrass him some more!"
So, when they told us that nuisance from Expenses was moving to join us in the sales department we nearly had a fit laughing. What Numpty had thought that up. Apparently they had been trying to get rid of him for months. A total incompetent apparently. I'm not surprised really, we could wrap him round our little fingers. It started just by us putting drinks and things in expenses, he muttered a bit, but we soon bullied him into accepting them. That was what was so funny. He thought he was so strict, that nobody could make him do anything he didn't want to do, and we could get him to do anything.
Then we started putting stupider and stupider things on expenses just to see how far we could go. I put down a Mark II Fanny Tickler (so much better than the Mark I), and Tracey put down for a full body spray tan, waxing and getting her bum hole bleached. Well, we thought that was a step too far, but not a bit of it!
That must have been the last straw, because that was when they moved him. Apparently they couldn't just fire him, so somebody came up with the bright idea of telling him he'd been moved to selling lady's products. Surely that would make him resign! But no. There he was in the training course. And the funny thing was Tracey had told him all the sales girls had to have a full body spray on tan, and there he was tanned like film star. The thing was, we all wondered if it really was full body. We knew he'd never go for the waxing and the bleaching, but we were dying to know about the full body tan. Had he been sprayed absolutely everywhere!
There was a way of finding out. Veronica. Veronica had this show for parties and things as a hobby. She just had the natural knack of getting people to do what she wanted. All I needed to do was persuade the boss that she would be good on the course and it was almost as good as done.
It was a wonder to watch as she slowly manoeuvred him into standing on the stage with his pathetic attempts at juggling wearing nothing but a gold lamé thong. It left little to the imagination! The juggling was a brilliant notion. The sort of thing only Veronica could think up. It gave a seemingly innocent reason for getting him to wear that ridiculous costume and at the same time distracted from the real object of the exercise. And of course while he was concentrating so hard on that he wouldn't realise what he was being manoeuvred into.
When I'd put the costume on it turned out to be even briefer than I had thought. Just a thin band around my waist and between my legs and a wider bit over my bottom, and a pouch at the front to cover the naughty bits.
But if the girls were to get their treat, they were relying on me. I had to juggle for five minutes.
"I don't think I..."
I had thought I'd just have to juggle for a few seconds then I could escape.
"You don't think you're up to it? You can't concentrate that long?"
"Yes of course I can but..."
"So what's the problem.."
"You're not shy are you? You're quite respectable in that costume. Don't you trust me?"
"Well of course I do..."
"Well then... Get going..."
So I did. I'd show them how well I could concentrate. There were laughs and giggles and even outright guffaws, but I wasn't distracted. Tracey was counting down the time.
"Five, four three, two, one... And... Stop!"
I'd done it! I stopped and looked round. I immediately saw what the girls had been laughing at. What Veronica had been doing to distract me. She had a glove puppet of a rabbit on her hand and it was silently applauding. I'd been concentrating so hard I hadn't even noticed! That's how good I was.
"Well done! Well done!" Said Veronica, applauding with the rabbit, "one more task and the girls will get their treat."
"Of course, you didn't think that was it, did you?"
"Well... Er... No.."
"There you are then. One more task."
"What is it?" I asked blushing with apprehension.
"Juggle for five minutes wearing Flopsy," she indicated the rabbit glove puppet.
"But how can I juggle wearing a rabbit on my hand?"
"Well you'll have to wear it somewhere else," she looks down at my thong.
"No, no..." I can't.
"Whoever not, it wouldn't really be covering any less than this," and she twanged the band round my waist holding my costume up.
"But it's... It's different."
"Can't see why."
"I'd be in the nude apart from... From... Well, that thing..."
"What's your costume covering that Flopsy isn't?"
"Well nothing really but..."
"I think you're just pretending to be shy because you can't do the juggling."
"Yes I can..."
"Well, prove it then. You said yourself you're not shy and the change of costume makes no practical, difference. You can't let the girls down can you? They'll think you're a failure. They'll not get their treat."
"But... But...," it was not good. I was beaten and I knew I was. I sneaked into the Ladies room, took off the costume, replacing it by fitting the rabbit over my... Well, over you know where. It fitted quite snugly. I was glad for once I was quite well proportioned down there. There was no chance it would fall off.
I crept back into the room to be greeted by more howls of laughter. It might have been that the costume didn't cover much, but somehow being completely nude except for a glove puppet fitted over my privates was somehow so much worse. I felt completely bare. I was completely bare. I could feel my face burning with embarrassment. Veronica just smiled and handed me the juggling balls.
"Five minutes. Concentrate hard mind. One mistake and well. You might have to start again!"
I concentrated hard. I didn't want to do this twice. My eyes fixed on the balls. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. It seemed like an eternity until at last I heard Tracey counting down.
"Ten, nine, eight, seven..."
A huge cheer went up and the girls started clapping along with the numbers. I looked at Veronica and my eyes opens wide with horror. On her right hand, joining in enthusiastically with the clapping was Flopsy. If Flopsy was on her hand it couldn't be covering my.... I looked down. I now knew why the girls were cheering. My last vestige of covering was gone. My penis was on view. I was completely nude. I froze with embarrassment at the act of throwing the ball. It went up in the air, came down, bounced on the ground and rolled under the table. Oh no! Oh no! The only thing I could think of was that I'd have to finish, or do the whole thing again with absolutely nothing on. I had to get the ball back...
So there he was 'juggling' away in his thong. When I say 'juggling' I mean throwing the balls in the air in some sort of random fashion and just about managing not to drop them. It was hilarious. His brief little costume didn't leave much to the imagination. He was certainly tanned all over the bits we could see, but the five percent still hidden? Had he really had his naughty bits sprayed. And as for the waxing, there was no way of knowing if he was bare bald (or should that be bare balled) under that costume.
I hadn't really meant for things to go as far as they did. When I had asked Veronica to see if she could get him to juggle in a pair of gold lamé pants I hadn't expected anything quite as brief as those. Still, they were just about respectable. I mean she'd said they were just like a pair of brief bathing trunks like you see sometimes. Well I suppose they were, just about. They were cut high and very tight so you could see about ninety percent of a very cute little bottom and the clear outline of a pair of handsome orbs and what looked to be an impressive cock.
But Veronica was determined to see how far she could get him to go. Little steps at a time. Little bits of 'You've gone this far, don't throw everything away by chickening out now' and 'don't let everyone down' and all the other tricks that get people into a situation where they can't say 'No'.
Convincing him that wearing the rabbit was no different to his little costume was absolutely brilliant. And it was so funny. Watching him there trying to throw and catch the balls practically nude, wearing nothing at all except a glove puppet over his cock and balls. It must have been so humiliating, we could see how much he was shaking with embarrassment, but he still did it! And he was concentrating so hard that he never noticed a thing when Veronica deftly removed Flopsy and put the puppet on her hand. How mean you're thinking. Well, nobody had forced him to do anything, it was just his own silly vanity and now he was paying the price and we were getting our promised treat. And what a fine treat it was. Nude with bouncing balls, and I don't mean the ones he was trying to throw up and catch. His impressive balls bounced up and down in a fascinating fashion as he leapt around trying to throw and catch. They were smooth as billiard balls, and looked almost as big. And they were as nicely tanned as the rest of his rather fine figure. Even his cock had been waxed and sprayed, some girl must have had fun doing that! It must have taken extra spray as well, judging from his size. All in all he was indeed a fine figure of a man and it was a real treat to see a well tanned, well endowed man, jumping around in the altogether. A real treat indeed. He'd actually got himself waxed and sprayed all over. And...
Tracey was counting down when out of the corner of his eye he spotted Flopsy on Veronica's hand. Suddenly it dawned on him that his privates must be on display. You could almost see the panic take over, the indecision, what should he do, what should he do. You could almost see it registering in his brain - 'My cock's on display! Everyone can see my cock!' It was totally hilarious! Only one thing seemed to obsess him, the need to get to the end of his five minutes. Of course whatever concentration he had had was broken, he dropped a ball, it bounced away under the table and in his panic he went after it.
Down on all fours, head and arms under the table, bottom in the air. He couldn't have given us a better view if he'd set out to do it deliberately. Waxed, tanned and bleached, his intimate hole was displayed to the cheering girls. And he'd lost the ball completely. He was going to have to do it all over again.
It really was a most successful training course. I'd demonstrated my ability to learn a new skill in just a few minutes and shown them I could concentrate completely despite distractions. Nearly all the girls told me how impressed they'd been by my bouncing balls, and I'd only dropped them two or three times. They now said they saw me as a whole, at least that's what I think they said. In fact they were so impressed they made me do the juggling over and over again until I'd got it perfect.
Even so they've put me back in Expenses. Seemed like they couldn't do without me. And my juggling act is in constant demand for girls' parties. Flopsy is getting a bit worn out though.