Tulip Fancy
Kelly help our girl Tulip look for a sexy Valentine's Day gift....
When Kelly asked me what I had planned for Valentine's day I just looked at her blankly.
"You have to do something. You do love her, don't you?"
"Well, yes of course."
"I know she really loves you."
"I don't know, I just hadn't thought about it."
"Well, let's think about it now. What about this." she said pointing at an advertisement on her iPad for a corset looking garment. I said it's beautiful looking underwear, but pointless.
"She would never wear it. I normally get her a box of chocolates. She always gives me flowers."
That made her laugh.
"Not for her silly, it's for you!"
"What!"
"Yes, for you," she repeated.
"You will be the sexy present," she said slowly as if talking to a five-year-old. "We are just deciding how to wrap you." That made me feel really silly. Things had changed quite a bit this year.
"I don't know, it looks awfully tight." I said.
I have become quite used to wearing girdles over the last couple of years. Some of them are even slightly padded. My wife used to insist on it when I wore shorts or trousers. She said they made them hang better and kept my drain pipe from spoiling the lines. I did get some good-natured ribbing from the fellows on the golf course, but that might have been because of my more styled hair and smooth moisturized legs. I doubt it was the reason I found it harder and harder to find playing partners.
This however, looked like a whole new level of constriction.
"Nonsense" she said. "Isn't it worth it to raise her passions for you to a new level on the most romantic night of the year. It's just a matter of getting used to it. It will really help to define your figure and let you enjoy a greater range of clothes."
"I don't know," I said. "It looks awfully expensive and I make very little money at the hat shop." Looking for an excuse to do something else.
"Your wife will love it! And I have aunties credit card!" she said with a smile. "We have a couple of weeks, I'll get you a couple of every day ones as well, you can wear them to work and around the house. That way you'll be used to it by Valentine's day!"
It was going to be a long week I thought....
Tulip, you little hussy. Sorry I'm just jealous
ReplyDeleteYou and me both
DeleteThank goodness for friends like that, and Auntie's credit card. He would definitely need to get used to it, though he may find it hampers his golf game. I for one would love to see his shaved and moisturized legs coming down from under his shorts. Perhaps leather shorts?
ReplyDeleteNo wonder Tulip can't find any playing partners. He showed up wearing a skort, a pink sleeveless top with a white and gold belt bag. The guys he played with insisted he use the ladies tee box. He had a difficult time gripping the clubs with his acrylic nails. His arms ( in addition to his legs) were waxed smooth as well. The bees swarmed around him due to the scented body lotion he was wearing. His hair was in a high ponytail with a flowered scrunchie. He wore a ladies visor and tinted lip gloss. The club Pro suggested that he join the ladies league.
DeleteDonna
I'm sure his wife had trouble keeping a look of satisfaction off her face as she lifted his clubs into the back of her car after he failed to find a playing partner for the second week in a row.
DeleteHa, I think leather shorts sound a bit butch for Tulip. I'd love to see him in that corset and stockings. She's going to eat him up.
DeleteOffering herself as the well-wrapped gift is a lovely idea. It could lead to lots of posing and maybe some picture-taking. And then...
ReplyDeleteYou all have wonderful imaginations. If only Tulip was such a clear thinker
ReplyDelete